I've tried writing in ink, but it seems so futile. Anything I write down on paper will inevitably get lost, be tossed out, or simply deteriorate. I need to remember who I am, who I was.

Lately I'm scared to sleep again. Scared I'll wake up to find things have fallen apart during the night while I wasn't watching. My legs hurt all the time now. A consequence of growing too tall too fast, or is the weight I feel real? Is all of the shit I'm carrying pushing me into the ground? This load is probably more than I can bear.