Dancer

I should have been a dancer. Or at least that's what everyone says. That I've got the perfect body for it. I -do- look amazing in tights and a leotard. But I'm not a dancer, I can't dance, not one lick. When I tell people this, they get this simultaneous look of pity and disappointment. Like me not being a dancer is a personal affront to God. As if, because I'm not a dancer, my sins won't be forgiven. I'll never go to heaven. All because I don't dance. Sometimes I lie and tell people that I -do- dance. That jazz and tap are my passion. They still look disappointed, but it's good enough to get me through the pearly gates. They say I look more like I'd do ballet. Got a graceful neck and walk- like Audrey Hepburn . She was a failed dancer I say. Did you know that? They stop smiling and walk away.

At least I'll have Audrey to keep me company in Hell.