Right now you're on your way back to a family that never gave a shit and are only making plans because it's the "proper" thing to do. And when you get there they'll wash your hair and comb it away from your shut eyes and paint your face up like a china doll- rosy cheeks, porcelain skin. The suit they dress you in will have to be new- all the old ones left behind in the attic will barely cover the track marks along your long arms.
There will be a short viewing where estranged relatives will all pass by and murmur false phrases about how you were a "fine boy" and how what happened was "such a shame" to your parents who will graciously accept all the feigned sympathy. And on the long drive back to their hotel they'll shake their heads and say to one another in hushed tones how they always knew you'd end up this way.
Yeah, well, you always knew it too.
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